Take this sinking boat and point it home (you’ve still got time)

See the thing is, I don’t quite understand why you seem to feel the need to make it seem like everything is alright. Like it’s going to work out. Like you still love her.
Okay, maybe you do love her.
But why give false hope?
Maybe I am a bit bitter about this because of past experience.
No doubt, those few guys that never saw the need to sugar-coat things when it came to matters of the heart.. Scarred me for life.

But the thing is, these guys are the reason I’m so strong now.
They told it the way it is. They saw no need to make life seem like a bed of roses.
Because the fact remains that it is really nothing like a bed of roses.
If they did however paint a bloody pretty picture for me, I would have fucking fell apart at the first heartbreak and I wouldn’t be sitting here smiling despite having to crawl out a 1 year relationship and face the reality of the post-break up madness. Fuck. I’m still crawling out! But the point is, I’m okay.

Now, why the hell are you trying to protect her from the truth?
The truth is, she’s there. You’re here. It isn’t going to work.
You bloody said it. Now the question is mister, what are you really afraid of?
Facing the truth?
Maybe you’re protecting yourself and you’re using her as an excuse.
Maybe you’re not as strong as you thought you were.
Maybe it’s time you face reality.

I want to have to be that person to tell you this because the truth is, it really did hurt when Mahen told me he still loved her.
The truth is, it hurt like fuck when Suresh got married.
The truth is, it hurt so bad when I couldn’t work things out with Hasbee.
It hurt even more when I realised, I cannot replace them.
There is a part of me that’s always going to be hollow.
But this is the reality of things.
The truth hurts.

Maybe that’s why I don’t want to be that person to tell you things just the way they are.
Because the truth is, I couldn’t allow someone else feel even an ounce of the pain I felt when I realised that it’s never going to be the same again.
That it wasn’t meant to be.
That it’s going to hurt for months, years, before you mend your broken heart.